As I struggled through the cycle of domestic abuse, I felt so alone and vulnerable to the next blowup. I never knew when they would strike but I always knew they were just a moment away. I could feel the air thicken as my abuser would become overwhelmed or angry about something out of his control. I would try to keep the calm but the winds of turmoil would start to churn and there was no de-escalating the situation. I could only hope the violence wouldn’t leave marks on my body, but it always left behind scars on my soul.

As we lived many miles away from my family I had no one I could turn to. Isolation is a manipulation tool abusers use, even when you live near family they attempt to control you from having relationships with other people. Their biggest fear is losing control of you. Abusers are broken people with disconnects from empathy, their world usually revolves mostly around themselves. Gaslighting to bring confusion to their victims about your own sanity is a tactic often used to maintain control.

As I began to ask God why this all was happening to me, He led me to His word where I found compassion and love. I began to see into my Heavenly Father’s eyes of grace. The more I prayed, read His word and trusted Him, the stronger I became. I was also led to read books about setting boundaries and that it’s not ok for one person to abuse another. I had lost myself through the many years of emotional beat downs of my self esteem and physical abuse.

Overcoming abuse is a process, everyone’s journey can be similar but also very different. I needed God’s wisdom to direct my steps to freedom from the domestic violence cycle. It’s like an awful merry go round that will just go on and on if you don’t decide to make the jump to get off from it.

God did not create humanity for such things, but we live in this fallen world where sin brings brokenness to people’s lives. I had to decide that I did not want to live in this way or did I want the cycle to continue in my childrens’ lives. I am happy to say I broke the cycle from my own life and my adult sons are kind and compassionate husbands and fathers to their children. My daughter married an amazing guy who cherishes her and their children. None of them live in fear of violence in their homes.

You may be saying, “It seems impossible for me to be free.” I promise you if you turn to Father God to direct and guide you, absolutely nothing is impossible with God!

Psalm 46:5 “God is within her, she will not fall, God will help her at the break of day.”

These are solid promises for those who trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your steps.

Jesus says He will give you rest when you come to Him!

Matthew 11:28 “Come to me all you who are burdened and weary and I will give you rest.”

You may feel no one cares about you but the Father looks on you with eyes of love. He hurts with you and will lead you to freedom.

Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love He will no longer rebuke you but will rejoice over you with singing.”

God is not an abuser, He loves you and does not want you to be hurt in any way, shape or form. Abuse comes in many forms and knowledge brings power, and God gives courage and strength to the weary when we look to Him.

It only takes one step at a time to break free and become emotionally healthy and safe. Leading our children by example; to not tolerate abuse of any kind is so important. I pray for you dear friend, that you will be enlightened to God’s love for you, and that He will help you along your journey.

In His Amazing Love,

Sharon Kay