Distraction, by definition is a thing that prevents you from giving full attention to something else.  While I could write pages and pages about the destructive nature of distraction that comes from media today, what I want to call attention to is the role of distraction in an abusive relationship. 

While in my absuvie marriage, I did not recognize the state of hypervigilence I was existing in and the way my body, mind and spirit was in a chronic state of  watchfulness and heightened sensitivity to potential threats.  Along with the every day distractions in life, my mind was in a chronic state of distraction to protect myself.  

Abusive tactics revolve around power and control.  The first time I went to a crisis counselor and saw the power and control wheel, I was in shock.  My mind had been whittled away for years and the very real abuse that was happening to me had been discounted, displaced and disregarded by my spouse.  The control tactics used kept me so distracted from the truth and focused on how to keep my abuser happy to avoid further abuse. There was no room for anything else. 

My faith in Jesus and attendance at church was a threat to my spouses control tactics, therefore, at the end, my abuser placed restrictions on my attendance.  My heart was broken.

Dear friend, if this sounds familiar, please know that my heart is with you and you are not alone. This is not what Jesus desires for you in this world. Individuals, like myself, who struggled with self-esteem and wanting to be accepted, fell into the trap of people pleasing.  Mistakenly believing that my worth was dependant on my willingness to do for others.

Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

But God says different.  He is to be in first position in our heart, mind, soul and body.  If we read his word and ask Him to take our hand, He is faithful.

Hebrews 12:2   “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Are you distracted?  One thing you can do every day is pray and ask God to remove the blinders, remove the distractions and restore clarity of sight on what He would have you do. Ask him to bring you closer.

Jesus said in Matthew 13:15 “For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.”

May the Peace of God be with you and hold you close,

Angela K