When anger and disappointments hover over our hearts from being treated unfairly it can turn into bitterness. If these feelings of resentment are not dealt with they can become a deep root that grows into a massive weed that quite literally infects every aspect of life. Bitterness can lead to negativity, unkindness, impatience, and a wide array of feelings that prevent peace and contentment in life and relationships. Bitterness is destructive and unhealthy to the human spirit. People who tend to be bitter are consumed with what others have done to hurt them and usually can’t see their own faults. Bitter people sometimes lash out at others or speak behind people negatively in trying to feel better about themselves or their situation.

Hebrews 12:15 says, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”

I can remember feeling bitter from being betrayed over and over again by someone I loved deeply. The pain was real and very deep, quite frankly I didn’t know what to do with it! The wounds festered and made my emotions roll like the waves of a wild and tumultuous sea. I can remember literally feeling panic, rage and like I was drowning at times. Totally out of control with grief and sorrow ruling my life to the point of desperation and sadness. It was a very uncomfortable state of mind and I would not wish it on anyone.

Proverbs 14:10 “The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares its joy.”

A pastor at a church I attended years ago would say this phrase all the time, “You can get bitter or better!” It’s a real catchy phrase and I really liked the bluntness of the statement. Like it’s just either or…BITTER or BETTER! What I want to talk about is the OR…that’s where the real work is done. The OR is a process that has to be worked out in the heart of man or woman. The OR is where we decide….what am I going to choose? Bitter OR better? And how do I get there?

Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave you.”

This passage from Ephesians is taken from Paul’s teaching about unity and maturity in the Body of Christ, the followers of Jesus. So, the first step for me in going from bitter to better was making a decision to follow Jesus and His ways. That required forgiving all the offenses…ouch…they don’t deserve my forgiveness! Oh, but wait…I didn’t deserve forgiveness from God either…but I received mercy…so there’s that! (See my blog: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget”)

Are you still with me? The OR doesn’t happen in a snap, it’s a process that takes renewing our mind to God’s ways. I knew I didn’t want to remain in a bitter state of mind, it’s a miserable way of living. Some people stay in bitterness their whole life and they unfortunately affect so many people in negative ways. I wanted the Better! I wanted to teach my children a different way…God’s ways! And let me tell you, it’s worth the hard work of digging into the word of God and allowing the transformation to take place! Again, it doesn’t happen overnight, step by step, choice by choice believing God can help us to see the big picture and leave Bitter behind and get to Better! It is a beautiful way to live!

Life is not fair, this is true and for some of us it seems our beginnings are doomed from the start. But God can level the playing field that we started on. Quite honestly if I had not been given the difficult path I have lived, I would not be so deeply dedicated to my Savior and Lord Jesus. It was in the searching that I found His ways to be so much better than the worlds way of living. He is the One who turned my bitter into better. The OR was a refining process of surrendering my will to God’s will.

His love for me was a big factor, knowing His love trumped every hurt and unfair treatment done to me. Acknowledging my pain, taking time to grieve the disappointments and release it to God. And so importantly, becoming confident that He understands my sorrow and has a plan so much bigger and better than anything I could imagine. With Jesus you won’t just go from bitter to better, you will trade bitterness for beauty.

Isaiah 61:3 ‘To all who mourn in Israel (God’s people) He will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for His own glory.”

Grace and Peace, Sharon Kay