One of the hardest things we people have to learn how to do is forgive others. Some painful experiences just seem unforgivable, especially if the wrong was done to your child. Some offenses may be unintentional and others are very cruel, hurtful, even intentionally evil and extremely hard to forgive. When the heart is broken and wounded over and over again with the same offense it can cause a hardness of heart that builds up and makes forgiveness seem like an impossibility. Unforgiveness seems justifiable at times by the human mind.

Forgiveness is a process of intentionally letting go of anger, resentment and negative feelings toward your offender. Does forgiving mean you continue to allow the offender to hurt you? No, forgiving in no way, shape or form requires you to continue to accept abusive behaviors. It does mean pardoning the one who hurt you. But you might say, “How can evil and destructive things done to me or someone I love be let go of? It is a choice and not an easy one, but is a very rewarding one.

Studies show that people who forgive others are much healthier physically and mentally, including having a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, less depression, and better self esteem. Living a life of being quick to forgive others also builds better relationships and a sense of peace that the one who hurt you is not controlling your life. Forgiving others does not mean you condone their actions or even have to continue relationship with the person. It just involves the decision to not hold their sin against them and give it all to God to handle.

In this world, humanity is so broken by sin. People sin and people are sinned against by others. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” God was first to be sinned against by His own creation, humanity. In His love, He created man, and gave us freedom to make choices. Man chose to go against God and defiantly disobey Him, which set into motion the fall of humanity. God the Father’s heart was so broken but He loved us so much that He made a way for us to be forgiven and have relationship with Him. He set the example of forgiveness first and paid the price that we could never pay through sending Jesus to die for us, to save us from the wages of sin. God gave His most precious gift in giving His son, Jesus for you and me. Jesus chose to surrender His will and die for us.

Romans 6:23 says, “The wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 3:24 says, “Being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.”

I had been sinned against throughout my childhood, rejected by my biological father, molested and abused by my stepfather, and years of physical and emotional abuse by the man I loved and had all my children with. As a young person, so broken, I fell into sin myself and made choices that took me into shame and grief. As I finally asked God, “Where are you, do you care about me? He led my steps straight to His heart and I received the greatest love I had ever known.

As I sit here, reminiscing about these memories, streams of tears flow like a river as I fall in love with my Redeemer all over again. Sensing His loving kindness to the lost little girl from chapter 2 of my book, Ashes to Diamonds and Rubies. Though I was so lost, I would be found by the One who loves me most in chapter 6, Unashamed. I would be set on a course that began with His forgiveness to me which led me to forgive all who had sinned against me. The worst of any of my offenders sin or my own sin could not keep me from finding hope in Jesus Christ. In letting go of unforgiveness, I found perfect peace in holding on to the hem of His garment and received healing for my broken heart.

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive others of their sins, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Jesus words to us!

Colossians 3:12-15“ As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another, if you have a grievance against someone , forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…”

I can hear you saying, “How is it even possible to forgive….? It’s by faith we step into God’s ways. We ask Him to help us throughout the journey of forgiveness. Little by little, step by step freedom comes, the peace of God begins to rule our hearts. Experiencing His love and forgiveness paves the way to forgiving what you can’t forget. It’s another beautiful plan of God…redemption…Amazing grace how sweet the sound!

I’m praying for you dear friend, walk it out by faith when you can’t see the how and the why’s of forgiving others but it will become second nature because His love is being reflected from your life as you choose to forgive as He has forgiven you.

Grace and Peace, Sharon Kay